Caring for the Caregiver

Caring Begins With You
If you want your loved one to be well taken care of, you must first take care of yourself.

Be aware of your own needs.
Nurture yourself with healthy food, regular exercise, meditation, and by enjoying nature.

Ask for help.
Your friends, family and others want to be of service to assist you. Tell them what would help and accept their offers of support.

Practice forgiveness.
Forgiveness is a gift you can give your loved one and yourself. If you have said or done something you regret, an apology to your loved one can free you both. Likewise, forgiving something hurtful your loved one may have done or said can also bring you peace.

Face Your Own Mortality.
This experience will make you think about your own life and death. The more understanding and peace you can feel about your mortality, the more you can help support the experience of someone else. Your calm and silent presence can help another find peace.

You and the Patient May Share many of the same reactions identified by Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, author of On Death and Dying:

Denial – Denying the diagnosis and refusing to believe anything is wrong is a common initial reaction of shock.

Anger – The anger and frustration stage asks the question "Why Me?" Blame may be placed on friends, physicians and even God.

Bargaining – Often both patient and caregiver seek to strike a bargain - with physicians, God, anyone - to gain a remission of disease or guarantee a cure.

Depression – At some point, feelings of hopelessness, withdrawal, sleep disturbances, and suicidal thoughts may occur

Acceptance – Coming to a realization it is inevitable is the last stage of the death and dying process.

Not all people experience all stages and they may occur in any order. Whatever your experience, remember is to support your loved one and seek support from others at whatever stage is being experienced.